Not What I Expected

Do you ever have plans, especially for Christmas Day, spending part of the day with your family and/ or friends, only to discover when you're on your way home that your family member(s) has no respect for you by the way they handled squeezing you in with people you don't even know?

That happened to me this Christmas. I was so looking forward to spending time with my daughter and her boyfriend for breakfast on Christmas morning. I would also be meeting my daughter's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Things were going great when I arrived on Christmas morning. After a short while, I noticed that my daughter's boyfriend's sister, her son, and her new husband had arrived. I did not know that they were also joining us. I felt so badly, as if I had infringed on my daughter's time with her boyfriend and his family, but I didn't let on. Everyone was kind, and as usual, I did my best to be friendly and kind also.

After we ate breakfast and opened presents, it was time for me to leave. I was spending the rest of the day with my Mom. On the way home, an hour away, I kept thinking, why did my daughter not spend time with me separately withe her boyfriend? I have been divorced for 6 years and have no significant other (my choice), but it seems as though I always get "the short end of the stick". It seems as though my daughter makes time with her dad's side of the family and her boyfriend's side of the family and no personal time spent with me.

I told my Mom, I feel re-victimized. I never thought I would be divorced. I had to leave my marriage due to abuse from my ex-husband, to the point where I had to leave the marriage, due to my health deteriorating from emotional abuse. I am sure my ex-husband is a narcissist. I know my daughter set aside time with her dad and his wife (his wife is nice) and her family because she told me she saw my son (her brother) and his wife there also. It almost brought me tears as I wondered why my daughter makes the time, along with my son and his wife, to be with their dad, for Christmas while I feel as though I'm "thrown under the bus."

I have helped out my son and his wife financially especially these last few years, and this year, I didn't even receive a Christmas card, nothing from them. I have always treated them, as I try to treat all people, with kindness and patience. I don't say anything to my children because people will do what they want to do. I'm trying to be accepting of all of this, but it hurts, with a hurt that causes me to cry and with a heaviness that still lingers today. I have "offered it up" as my Catholic Faith suggests I do, but it still hurts with a devastating vengeance.

I hear so often that the millenials act this way. It saddens me greatly because I was a stay at home Mom with my children for 19 years. I did my best to be the most loving, nurturing, kind Mom that I could be. I taught my children to write thank you notes and to be loving and kind toward others.
Does any of this resonate with you? I would love to hear your comments.